Frustration Like You Wouldn't Believe

My parents ask me why I haven't gone on any dates from guys from my college. Let me tell you why:

I am Jewish and a large part of the college is Jewish. I have not found dates because I am not a whore or I don't wear long sleeves and skirts. THAT is why I haven't found any. Also, from some reason, unless I go up to a person to say hello, a person won't come over to me to say hello. I hate being around snobs. I hate having to go through all the efforts I go through for nothing. I hate the way Judaism is today and it has become more about appearance than behavior. No wonder everyone hates us...

Inspiration for Failure

After what I felt earlier today, I felt the need to bring a quote to help inspire those who felt like they have failed.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

I have to try to not feel like a failure because there are always more ways to improve what I have, or have not, done. It is the opportunity to realize what the failure was and to start over. We must live and learn!

I am a failure

Every time I talk to my mother or am around her it's another accusation or criticism. Why don't I get a job? Why don't I start dating? Why don't I try to finish school in 2 years without taking summer courses? Why don't I hang out? Why don't I try to hang out? Why am I being such a mooch? Why don't I move out?

My mother might as well say I am a failure.

I have tried hanging out with people, but they have jobs or don't have a car and I have not had a car to use for 2 weeks. I have tried figuring out how not to take summer courses but I have to. I have tried to find a job but I am focusing on finishing school right now because I MUST be finished in 2 years. My school schedule also doesn't allow me to find a job. I also am trying to find an internship for the winter but she wants me to earn money. I am not looking to date because, once again, I am focusing on getting good grades so I can make it into grad school with a scholarship so YOU can pay for it and I can pay it off in the future. I am also just simply not looking to date right now. I can't move out because, where I am expected to move to, I can't buy school supplies...seeing that I am a studio art major I need to have constant access to an art store and that area doesn't have any in walking distance. I can't take art classes without art supplies, and if I can't take art classes I will never graduate. I try not to use your money but sometimes I have to. I am not trying to mooch off you. But I am a failure and I am lazy and I am a mooch. I can't take this anymore. If I move out I will not talk to that woman. I can't have someone in my life that is indirectly, constantly calling me a failure.

So bored...oh so very bored

I am bored. This is all.

Two nut or not two nut

Randomly a few years back I became allergic to all nuts. Treenuts, peanuts, and I missed all of those nuts. Now I am only allergic to two nuts. Yay! Unfortunately, one of those nuts are peanuts and I miss having peanut butter so much! I used to live on that stuff! Maybe one day...

Stand Up Comedy Shows

The other night I had a friend doing stand up at the comedy club: Stand Up NY. It was a fantastic show and I really enjoyed most of the comedians. One of my favorite lines:

"If the guy notices your eyes on the first date, your tits aren't big enough"

The other lines aren't hilarious on its own but the comedians made it hilarious with comedic timing, making these comedians great comedians (in my opinion).

Names and Dating

My grandmother knows someone who want so set me up with her grandson. My grandmother gave her my number and I have to wait for him to call. A few hours pass and I realize I have no clue what this guy's name is so if he calls it would be good to know his name. So I call my grandmother back...and she has no clue what his name is. It's a good idea to know someone's name if you are trying to set your granddaughter up with him.

And now that I know what his name is I looked him up on facebook...I don't know what to think...

"Uh oh"'s and Hair Metal

Z is definitely dating R. I have a feeling she is trying to change him. I have found if u try to completely change your significant other the relationship won't work. As my people would say to a situation like this: oy vey...

I saw Rock of Ages last night. It is loud, fun, and I liked it. If you are bothered by half naked women dancing sexily, loudness, or cursing and all that fun stuff...I don't recommend you see it. I also don't mind hair metal. The narrator is the best character on the show. He was hilarious! He did improv a few times. I was able to tell because the cast was trying not to laugh and the band was laughing. Yes...there is an actual rock band on stage, giving the impression of a hair metal concert. I really enjoyed it.

I went to see rock of ages with my grandparents. My grandfather took his hearing aids out during the first number. He claimed the show was loud enough without them...

Do you feel it?

Maybe this is a moment of insanity. Maybe I am just paranoid. My intuition isn't always wrong. There is a 50/50 that my intuition is correct. I feel something coming. Something so catastrophic there will be no more wars, no hunger for wars, just a simple coexistence between all peoples and all religions. That moment of something catastrophic is coming soon. I can tell but what is going on in this world. Chaos is soon going to ensue. Chaos and catastrophe is coming.

I don't believe in 12/21/12. I don't believe in zombie apocalypses. I do believe that many people will die. Violence only breeds more violence. Violence breeds a thirst for vengeance and hatred. Vengeance and hatred leads to war. War doesn't solve anything but begin the cycle back at violence. Diplomacy doesn't solve anything, if one side is building up an arsenal of weaponry even if the world is telling them to stop. If that side really wanted peace and not to breed violence and, something worse than violence, fear, they would put down their arms and not start the violence! With the buildup of weaponry on this planet, there will be nowhere to run or hide from the catastrophe. All we can do is hope for survival. There is no way of stopping this cycle. No group of people can stop it anymore. It's too late.

Maybe I am just paranoid....

Update on situation with Z

Randomly Z starts talking to me on Facebook. I have to be careful with this manipulative SOB. I am not easily manipulated so it shouldn't be too difficult for me to see past his friendliness. I totally sounded like a bitch right there but this guy is extremely manipulative and is playing with the minds and emotions of two of my friends. There was an awkward moment last Saturday when these friends were over (not Z) and my sister, being my sister, tried her best to make the situation awkward. One friend ended up blushing and the other wasn't amused.

My sister said to one of them (the blushing one): I saw you with Z walking together and I saw what you were doing...
My friend responds: No you didn't (and then starts to blush)
My other friend looked down and pretended to ignore the conversation and didn't say a word.

Soap opera much? lol

Oh my dear sister...thank you for being you in this situation. Otherwise you tend to piss me off...mwa!